Advent (thanks to Wal-Mart, a little early)

The day before Halloween I was walking through Wal-Mart buying a few extra bags of candy. We are still in our “firsts’ here in this new place (“first summer,” “first Halloween,” “first Christmas”). I was reflecting on how excited we are to live in a place with lots and lots (and lots) of trick-or-treaters, and my drifted over into the “Home and Garden” section, and I noticed the first Christmas trees peeking over the aisles.

I know that a lot of people are discouraged by that, and I understand that emotion. It is true that Christmas is when all the retail establishments make a profit, so the earlier they can make Christmas, the better off they are. But I decided years ago, that if anyone can have joy about the approach of Christmas, it is a Christian. So I decide to use those (possibly exploitive and commercial) symbols of the season to move me to joy.

On that day, those Wal-Mart trees were an advent wreath. I felt such joy and hope seeing them, my eyes even welled up.

It almost exactly a year ago that I sent of my application packet to Judson University. The job opening posted exactly one day after I received the news that the trustees no longer wanted me in the classroom because of my Baylor Ph.D. [For my details see the discussion tab in the facebook group, “The Truth Behind Teachers' Removal”]

I am a teacher. In my heart of hearts I know that. I had decided (with Cindy) that this would be my last year on the job market. I would find something else to do. I was tired of ding letters. I was tired of coming so close so many times only to lose out. On the plus side, I had gotten very good at laments: Kate Campbell’s “Dark Night of the Soul,” Allen Levi’s “Bartimaeus,” Michael Card’s, “The Silence of God,” and others. I am afraid I was also getting very good at teaching the laments in the Psalter.

For some reason one song moved me more than others. Chris Rice’s song “Belong” became an almost liturgical practice for me. It was the first song I played every morning when I sat down at my desk. It was top of my iTunes “Top 25 Most Played” for some time, and more than once, I found myself in tears as I tried to sing those early verses.

I cower ‘neath the monster trees
And try to stand on tired feet
But gravity knocks me to the ground
Where I give up, and tears roll down
I claw the dust and beg the end
Curse the day that I began
to hope there’d be a place where I belong

It is a year later, and God has changed my mourning into dancing. We survived the move (I will be more confident when the boys and Cindy survive the winter!). Now, I am settling in as the new Old Testament professor here at Judson. The students are responding to me, and I can see where this place can benefit from my gifts. I am connecting with my colleagues, and I see where I can benefit from the gifts of this place. Though I have expressed the joy I have in my facebook statuses quite frequently, I truly could post joyfully every day.

This year when I light that first Advent candle and say, “Jesus brings Hope!” I will confess that this year, I will say that a little differently. Last year, I said it with longing. This year, I say it in declaration.

How did I miss this wondrous song?
The forest sang it all along
"River rinses all your shame
Father offers you His name
Father Love prepares a home
Brother Jesus leads you on
Follow to the place where you belong!"